January 11, 2022
#onelittleword #soltuesday #sol22
Since seeing the #onelittleword prompt last week, I have been summoning signs from the universe as to what my #onelittleword should be. I am someone who does make new year’s resolutions because if don’t set goals for myself, I teeter on the edge of my anxiety pit and I am old enough now to understand I’d rather get out of my way and do the damn thing than teeter, despite the unpopular opinion of new year’s trends according to social media. Regardless, even though I created four new year’s resolutions, I had never thought to minimize and use #onelittleword to frame my year. Thus the summoning and manifesting.
As I read over my resolutions, I noticed a resounding theme of commitment to past promises that were not previously completed. For whatever reason, these promises were not made at the right time in my life but they have floated up from the anxiety pit throughout the months and years and frequently tap me on the shoulder. As one does, self-sabotaging and some mindful manipulation convinced me that I could not do what I had previously committed to doing. In reality, I just needed to do the damn thing, but easier said than done.
Upon some reflection and thesaurus.com searches, I have decided I want to have a BUOYANT 2022. I want to be resilient and bounce back from that which anchors me to anxiety or float away from that which tethers me to terror. I have yet to be officially diagnosed as a highly sensitive person or an empath or whatever social media psychologists call it these days but what I do know is I can easily hold the weight of the world within my heart, then mold that weight of the world onto myself in an uncruel, perfectionistic way and I would like to take a sabbatical to bounce to new learning and opportunities. I would like to be buoyant in re-learning Spanish which has already been a humbling experience, buoyant in the highs and lows of wedding planning (is that an oxymoron?!), buoyant as I explore plant-based eating and fun new recipes, and buoyant in the vulnerability of writing. I want to exude the sheen and iridescence of a buoyant bubble at a children’s birthday party, the extra big bubbles that cause some to stop and take a moment in awe until it reaches its inevitable pop. I want to be the buoyant buoy for myself, who manages to stay afloat in choppy water and provide a point of reference when storms darken my days. May I enjoy my buoyancy in 2022.